Inquietude
by YouSentMeFlying
Summary: Eli Goldsworthy's mental disturbances take over a huge part of his life - he's at war with himself.
1. insomnia

**It's enjoyable to confuse people. So I came up with this storyline to do just that. ;) yes, it will be EClare, since Clare was the only girl who could complete this story. An EClare fic has been needed anyway, despite my opinions on their relationship. **

_The pills are positioned in the palm of my hand, empty orange bottles showering the floor beneath my feet. Her face flashes across my burry mind, and I can't help but to let a tear slip down my flushed cheek._

_Emotionless. _

_That's the only sensation I know how to express – nothing whatsoever. _

_Who knows how long I've slept. Or how long I've been awake. _

_Insomnia._

_Taint._

_Callous._

_Numb._

_I peel open my eyelids again to peer out into the dark room. These boring walls, they mock me. "Dejected Green" is what I like to call the pain(t) on the wall, since that's one of the many emotions I feel, mixed amongst a wave of numerous others. _

_A furious fire burns at my lungs, already preparing themselves for what was to come. My tongue is pressed into the corner of my cheek, examining the handful of pills inches away from my face. _

_I'm not afraid to die._

_Bullshit._

_Lies._

_Lies._

_Lies!_

_The truth is, I've always told everyone – myself – that I wasn't scared to die. I've told myself this so often that I have begun to believe it. I wish it wasn't just an illusion. _

xxx

I have continuously had a type of hopelessness hanging over me, and I've dealt with insomnia half of my life. It was only recently that it's gotten incredibly out of hand.

_Unbearable. _

I sit here in the darkness, staring out into the night sky. It's chilly, but not cold enough to bundle myself. Though, somewhere in the back of my mind, I wish I would be stricken with frostbite.

Anything to get away from this world.

Fuck the pain.

It only lasts for a brief amount of moments, while emotional ache can last a lifetime.

Fuck it.

I graze my fingertips along the metal railing of the balcony. I can see a cloud of my warm breath combine with the cool air that surrounds me; leave it to Toronto to have bipolar weather during the beginning of May.

Bipolar.

Just like my emotions.

A never-ending rollercoaster of nonstop change.

An ice-cold shiver runs up my spine, forcing my body to jerk indistinctively.

The wind is beginning to pick up much faster now, making my entire body quiver. A whisper shoots through my head, a voice sounding familiar to my own.

_Eli._

_Eli._

_You're going to die._

_Eli._

_You're going to hurt people._

Rage.

_Innocent people._

Pain.

Vehemence.

_Eli._

Blood.

_Eli._

_Eli._

_Eli!_

But I snap out of it, gripping my hands on the railing to shake the thoughts out of my mind. I'm sick of being too tired to sleep.

_Eli!_

Get out!

I lie down on the balcony floor to shut my eyes for a moment. If I'm fortunate, I'll get five or ten minutes of sleep this week alone. Most nights, I can't even get my eyes to close. Such an easy task that I needed to put so much effort into. Not tonight, though. Not tonight.

Darkness.

My mind goes blank and I can feel myself getting pulled under. There were only few nights I could get myself to fall asleep naturally; then again, my doctor would repeatedly raise my pill dosage and that couldn't even assist me. The only thing those did was make me stare off into space and cause delusions – as if I needed more of those to disturb my thoughts.

I'm in a shadowy room, enclosed by nothing but the black walls slowly crowding in around me. My heart is beating out of my chest, and suddenly she's standing there before me. It all happens so quickly that I could literally flutter an eyelid and miss it.

She's cloaked in a lengthy, turquoise dress that flow down to touch the floor. She let her long, auburn curls stream down her back beautifully as she reached up to caress my face. Her hands cold as ice, leaving a warm trail on my cheek where her fingers touched.

"Elijah," she spoke to me in a gentle whisper, her lips scarcely brushing against mine. She's so gorgeous; her face is angel-kissed, and her eyes are the colour of the purest ocean.

_She is Clare Edwards. _

And just like that, she was gone. The whole room was rushed down into a grey vortex all in one instant.

My eyes flicker open and I'm standing in the middle of a busy highway, bright luminosities blinding my vision while car horns blared through my eardrums.

Once again, I'm left with no explanation of what had just occurred.

**Lost yet? I bet you are. :) I'm not sure yet if the rest of the chapters will be as short as this one, but I'll work on it. And I would love to hear your views of what you think is going on! Go ahead and leave me a review… I dare you. ;P**


	2. sleeping sickness

**Hi again! I hate lack of reviews since it makes me feel like a failure. Lol but here's the second chapter, longer as promised. Enjoy… or don't, whichever is fine. :)**

_Tick tock, tick tock_. The clock was mocking me, taunting me and my surroundings. I felt like I've been staring at the same clock for a decade or two, and only a half hour had passed.

It's dark. I glance around the room, the shadows beating down at the hardwood floor.

It's quiet. The only sound was coming from the tick of the grandfather clock out in the hallway and the graceful melody being ridged out by the crickets outside my window. I couldn't tell if I was going insane, or if my mind had somehow become paralyzed – I was desperately hoping it was the latter. Or maybe I wasn't that lucky.

My heart is beating at a slow, heavy pace.

_Boom._

_Boom._

…_Boom._

My body grows warm as this continues on, and I try my hardest to ignore it. The least that could happen, I would die… which doesn't sound like such an awful thing at the moment.

I lie there manically in bed, staring at the clock on the nightstand as it slowly changed from minutes to hours. It was currently after three in the morning and I've been lying in the same position for about four hours straight. I'm afraid to fall asleep; my mind doesn't want to shut off and my body has started trembling uncontrollably. It's dark, and my chest feels like it's caving in – I'm terrified and I have no idea why. This happens often at night, I become a zombie and something takes over my body like it doesn't belong to me anymore. I want to scream, to let someone know that I'm hurt… that I feel like I can die at any second. But I know I would only be wasting my breath; it's all in my head and it'll pass in a few minutes.

Sitting up in my bed, I run a shaky hand through my tousled hair to regain my breathing. Whenever my lungs cave in like this, I sometimes wish it would put an end to me, an end to my pain. But part of me enjoys the feeling of being restrained by myself.

_It's like there are two sides to Elijah Goldsworthy. _

I stare over at the orange bottle of pills on the nightstand, extending my arm with quick movements to sweep it up into my clenched fist. It didn't matter how many of these I forced down my throat, they didn't work. 'Try,' is all everyone says. 'Try to do better and you'll succeed. Even if the pills aren't doing it for you, try.' I was so fucking sick and tired of hearing that word. If I hadn't been trying since the start, I may not be here by now. I would lose control of myself, press a gun to the inside of my cheek, and pull the trigger.

_Pow!_

I could see it in my mind – the crimson colour of my own blood and brains as it splattered back against the dreadful walls of my room. I've always wanted to repaint in here.

But who would find me? My mother, my father? The devastated expressions on their faces at my funeral; they're dressed in all black, and CeCe is sobbing uncontrollably into Bullfrog's stiff shoulder. There are tears stinging at his eyeballs, but he refrains from holding this back. He can't break down in front of my mother – he's promised her he would be strong for her, be there for her.

I dump a few pills into my hand and swallow them down dry. After being on the same medication for such a long time, you begin to get used to the feeling of tossing back pills every few hours – if only they actually worked.

As soon as the strange sensation passes, I reach for my cellphone alongside me to scroll through my contacts. By this time, I had forgotten I was the only one at Degrassi who couldn't sleep. If I were to call anyone right now, half wouldn't answer the call, and the other half would be extremely angry with me. I just wish I could find something productive to do rather than lying in bed all night.

I press the 'call' button and hold the phone up to my ear. The piercing ring ricochets through my mind and I grow lightheaded again. I'm unable to determine if this is what tired feels like (since I've been having a numb feeling lately). I ignore it, waiting for someone to pick up the other end of the line.

_Click._

There's a faint sound of exhausted inhalation coming from the other side. "Clare," I speak with a bit of roughness in my voice. I haven't had a single thing to drink in hours, possibly days. My body is telling me how dehydrated I am, but I don't listen. I have to ignore any thought that runs through my mind to comprehend what's going on with me.

"Elijah?" Clare groans on the other side of the line. She sounds tired, and I honestly couldn't care if I woke her up or not. No one understands what it's like to be so exhausted that you begin to lose the grasp on your reality. Is this a dream, or is it actuality? Is what I believe to be my true life actually a dream and vice versa? Or is everything that I see a massive delusion?

I let out a heavy sigh and scratch the back of my neck. She must hate me for calling so late – what if she knew I liked her? I needed to do anything I could to make sure that wasn't the case.

_Paranoia. _

"I know it's late… but I couldn't sleep so I thought I would call you. What are you doing?"

"Sleeping," she replies almost straightaway before the line goes dead.

"…hello?" I smile a little to myself and whisper, "she's so in to me." I can't keep wondering what it's like to have a girlfriend. First thing in the morning, I'm making my move. Did I have school tomorrow or was it the weekend?

By going so long without sleep, you start to lose any recognition of the days and months. In my mind, today was December 21st, 2012, but a week ago it was just the beginning of May. It does confuse me at times, but I try not to think about it abundantly – the seasons are what give me a good idea of what time of the year it was.

I weakly jump down off of the bed to let the balls of my feet hit the floor. I don't know what I'm doing for the rest of the night, but I'm sure as hell not going to lay in this goddamn bed any longer; I can't handle it. The only thing I can hear now is the sound of my own breath catching in my chest. The crickets have gone to rest since the sun was preliminary comely to its peak, and as for the tick of the grandfather clock… you know what they say, _out of sight, out of mind. _

The silence pressed on, myself being the only one left wide awake in the household; even my new puppy named Blade was huddled up in his little pooch bed on the floor. He twitches in his sleep, and a small bark escapes his moist doggy chops. I believe he's in his own paradise… dreaming of chasing cats through the night streets and filling his warm tummy with chicken and rice flavored kibble. I would love to be a dog… they have it so easy while us human beings have to suffer with issues such as insomnia.

I sneak out of my bedroom, making sure I'm quiet enough to not wake my parents – they would be extremely pissed off at me if I disturbed their slumber before sometime around noon. Especially with Bullfrog since he didn't get in from work until two in the morning. I hardly ever see him, but I can always hear him fixing himself a frozen pizza in the microwave and trudging up the stairs within the late hours of the night. I could join him while he eats, though; make myself a cup of warm milk to sooth my stomach, but I didn't like being around people much. Even my own parents were strangers to me now.

The steps creak beneath me, but I manage to make it down the stairs and into the kitchen without being caught. There were a few bottles of Vodka sitting out on the counter and I couldn't resist. Drinking alcohol may even be an excuse for me to get to sleep since nothing else seemed to work. But I wasn't going to risk anything by telling anyone just yet; I would wait until someone found out about it first.

Making my way to the front door, I grab a jacket to shrug on over my slumped shoulders. Since the sun was just starting to come up, I already knew it would be a little chilly to go outside shirtless. I didn't even know if I wanted to go to school anymore this morning – if I went drunk, I would just fuck everything up with Clare. Maybe I should wait to talk to her until after the feeling wore off.

I slowly slink out onto the front steps and plop down on the concrete. There are already a few cars driving down the street, and I watch them pass as I hide away in the darkness to take the first swig of the drink. I've never had alcohol in my life, so it was something new to me. I didn't hate it… but I didn't entirely like it either.

The clear liquid slithers down my throat and leaves a warm trail behind, allowing a pleasurable stinging sensation to bust through my tight chest. I don't stop there, though; I force myself to guzzle down half the bottle. It's a smaller size that fits perfectly in the palm of my hand, but it's still enough to make me gag a little. My stomach is doing swirls and I decide I need to take a short breather before I throw up right here on in my front yard.

I lower the bottle and flicker my eyes open, my heart almost stopping in my chest when I see an unfamiliar boyish face standing before me. A brown beanie is placed on top of his straggly brunet locks, and he's dressed down in cheap clothing that are a few sizes too big for his diminutive shape. I vehemently gulp down what I've been holding in my mouth and give the boy a small wave.

"You might want to slow down on that." He nods his head toward the bottle. "I'm no doctor, but that shit's awful on your kidneys. Or maybe it's the liver… something in that main area."

I can't help but furrow my eyebrows together. "And who are you?" I didn't get along much with many… well, any people in general. But just a few sentences out of this guy and I already feel content around him. There's something about him that reminds me of… _myself._

My head spins around me and I don't even dare to attempt standing up. As much as I would like to be polite to whoever this was, I couldn't handle being upright on my feet right now.

"I'm Adam Torres," he says, sitting himself down next to me on the step. "Do you mind if I have a sip of that?"

I shrug my shoulders and pass it down to him. His voice is a little higher pitched than the average sixteen year old teenager, so I can't help but wonder how old he is. Thirteen, possibly fourteen. It couldn't hurt to ask since I didn't feel too comfortable with someone so young drinking hardcore alcohol. "Have I met you before, Adam?"

He shakes his head and I watch as he carefully wets his lips with a little taste of the Vodka, barely enough to get the tiniest ant tipsy. "I'm sort of an outcast, homeschooled loser who is locked up at home all the time. That kind of thing." He sets the bottle down on the concrete. "I'm supposed to be collecting moths for an experiment this morning. _Actias luna,_" he scoffs.

"Dare I ask what that means?"

"This extremely hideous green moth that only comes out at night and early in the morning – during the springtime. I haven't found a single one yet and I've been out here for two hours."

I could remember hearing something about those kinds of moths while watching _Animal Planet_ on one of the nights I couldn't fall asleep. (That sure does narrow it down.) But I could have sworn I perceived them say they were never seen in the Toronto area, just mainly Nova Scotia and parts of the United States. "You're a fascinating creature," I laugh slightly as I reach for the bottle of Vodka once again.

The two of us grow silent and I continue to drink my alcohol while Adam scans the ground with his eyes to look for more of those stupid moths. I didn't bother to tell him what I learned about these specific moths merely for the reason that I gained joy out of watching people grow frustrated. It reminded me I wasn't the only individual in the world who wasn't perfect all of the time.

I can hear the distant sound of footsteps growing closer and closer to the yard, so I slickly hide the bottle behind me and clear my throat. I should have already left for school by this time, but I decided I may as well skip. As if I would be able to concentrate during class while I'm like this. Insomnia and booze didn't exactly mix well in my book; it only made me feel shittier than beforehand. What a dazzling strategy.

Clare approaches the yard, her flat shoes pounding against the pavement of the street as the bright sun shines through her ginger curls. The entire time we've been friends, she's always had such long and vibrant hair. I'm almost shocked to notice that she's cut more than half of her gorgeous mane. I had to admit that it suited her better; the short strands rounded off her face fittingly and made her seem more mature. I didn't have to feel guilty every time I had corrupt thoughts about her since she looked so much younger than me.

"Hi," I breathe almost idiotically. "I-I, um…" I laugh nervously at my own awkward actions and swallow the lump in my throat. When did it become so hot outside? _Dammit, Eli, you're making yourself look like a fucking dumbass! _"Your new haircut is nice." Finally the words are coming out right. "You look hot. Sexy… Um…" But maybe just a little too over the top. "You look beautiful, Clare."

So much for wanting to make an impression; there's no way she'll find out I have feelings for her.

"Thank you," she giggles. "I also wanted to thank you for calling to wake me up at three in the morning. Couldn't get off the old fashion way, eh?"

"No, no!" I hold my arm out to her, smiling widely as I feel the alcohol starting to kick in even heavier than before. "It wasn't like that. I was just… bored."

"That's what all guys say, you aren't fooling anyone." I can tell that she's teasing, but my brain doesn't want to process this quick enough and I end up making myself look like an idiot in front of the girl I was in love with, and have been for several years.

Adam pats my shoulder almost comfortingly, but I couldn't help but to think he was being derisive with me. "Nice going, man."

I roll my eyes playfully, feeling as though I'm starting to get ganged up on. I wonder how obvious it is to Clare that I'm drunk, for my sake, I hope she can't tell at all. "Have you met Adam?" I gesture toward the petite boy sitting next to me and ruffle the hat on top of his head. As much as I hate being a jackass to people, I don't understand why I can't stop – I suppose it's just one of those things that come naturally to me; all of the things that I detest about myself seem to be that way.

I watch as she confusingly glances over to where Adam is sitting, opening her mouth to speak before pursing her lips together again. This makes me stare over at Adam who is smugly looking over at Clare; it makes me wonder if they've had something together in the past and I didn't know about it. Clare has had a few secret boyfriends that she's hid from her parents and barely talked about with me, so it's not like I would know. But the tension in this front yard was almost overwhelming.

She clears her throat. "Are you going to school today, Elijah? I'm going to be late, so…"

"Nope," I respond quickly. "Skipping. Tell Ms. Dawes I'll have my paper in by Friday; I'm her favourite so an extension surly won't be a problem?"

She peaks back over at Adam before walking off without saying another word. I would truly like to know if there was something between the two of them; it makes me a tad bit jealous to think of her, and this random guy I've just met, possibly being together.

_I was going to figure out what was going on. _

**I didn't have much time to proofread this chapter since I'm kind of in a hurry to get out of the house so I can be back in time for the new Degrassi episode. So forgive me if there are some mistakes… not everyone is perfect. Review, you must! Please. **


	3. agrypnia

**Asya! Thank you so much for your longass review. Your predictions were lovely, but way off. ;P nice try, though. **

**I give you the third chapter of Inquietude – quite a long one.**

My eyes are scrunched shut, my mind growing fuzzy as I can feel as though a ton of weights are being overloaded onto my chest. This is what I felt when I fell asleep, or so I thought. And when I'm sucked under, I'm always surrounded by darkness in an unfamiliar environment. I couldn't determine whether or not my mind was trying to tell me something, or if I was officially going off the rails.

Me being me, I wouldn't be surprised if it was that second option – I couldn't even remember my name half the time. _Eli. T_wo syllables; so simple to remember.

In my dream, it's dark and musty as it always is; I'm clammy and catch the hazing gaze of a pink dildo sitting upright on a cluttered dresser. _Clare Edwards' dresser. _This is all I can see initially, but the room slowly grows clearer and clearer behind my clouded cataracts.

At first, I can hardly tell what ever going on, and as I get more engulfed into the dream, it comes almost perfectly clear to me. I'm in Clare's room, the room that I've gotten to see several times since I was a young kid. She's changed the blankets, though. While they used to be pink Barbie's, and High School Musical themed, this set is a little more mature and grown up. A seductive deep purple satin comforter was thrown over the bed which sat beneath me against the East wall.

Clare's standing in front of me, dressed head to toe in a sexy one piece. Red and black lace just barely covers her plump breasts, falling down to cover up her stomach in a "V" shape. This exposes her curved sides and reveals her abdomen just below her belly button. A panty-like piece of fabric protects her prickly pear, which were connected to a set of garters to hold up her black lace stockings.

I'm almost overjoyed and I can feel myself twitch uncomfortably in my black skinny jeans as soon as she snaps off both of her black garters.

"Elijah," she purrs, letting her fingers explore her body. This would be the second time I've dreamt about Clare Edwards, but the first time wasn't as exciting as this one was. I bite my lip to watch her as she does this, leaning myself back against the headboard of her durable bed.

I'm so into the dream by now that it begins to seem like reality.

Clare bends forward to crawl up onto the mattress on her hands and knees. She wags her ass behind her tempting body, giving me a seductive look. By now, I'm not sure how to handle myself. Clare and I have been friends for years now, so I had mixed feelings about having these dreams about her. I already knew it would be extremely awkward to attempt holding conversations with this girl from now on. (It's not like that wasn't already a problem or anything in that nature.)

I watch as she slinks over to straddle my waist with her thick thighs.

Why am I doing this to myself? I need to wake up; as much as I didn't want to, I needed to wake up – this didn't feel right anymore.

_Maybe it was more than just a dream._

She reaches for my hand to bring it up to her left breast, wrapping my fingers around her delicately. "I want you to touch me," she speaks seductively in my ear. I'm still having mixed emotions and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. I'm not dreaming, am I? Oh God, what's going on? Why would she throw herself at me like this?

Her lips brush against mine teasingly, sending a shiver of goosebumps down the back of my neck. I'm almost too stimulated to move, or even give her an answer. "Please," she whimpers, trailing my hand down to tease herself with the tips of my fingers. "I want you. I _need _you… think about it. The enormous quantity of great pleasure filling you up – to have you feel me wrapped around you." She stops to smirk, snaking out the tip of her tongue to devour my bottom lip; I'm left unmoving, too speechless to communicate with the pleading young soul. "I'll give you anything you want," she's scarcely speaking with a placid murmur now. "I know you've been dreaming about this moment for a lifetime. You've always pondered what it felt like to explore unseen… unspoken places of me. This is your chance." She rubs her lower half down on the bulge growing in my jeans, and I swallow the lump in my throat as my breath fastenings in my chest. I've never, _ever_ presumed Clare had this erotic side to her. I enjoyed it a little too much to have any type of control of myself. "Go for it."

Instead of speaking, I take action, sitting up to let Clare fall back onto the mattress with a gentle thump.

What was she doing to me? I can't handle this… the tension is so frustrating and all of these thoughts are running through my foggy head. This girl brings those voices out again to haunt my mind with such grave hatred.

_You're going to hurt her, _these whispers tell me.

_Everything you thought you knew about yourself was a fucking lie – you don't know anything. You can't even tell when you're dreaming and when you're awake._

_Pathetic._

_Fucking screw up._

_Well, what are you waiting for? _

_Fuck her._

_Make her chant your name in such gratifying screams._

_It won't be the last time you'll hear her cry out for mercy._

I crack my neck, blocking out the sound of the voices to listen to the warm popping sensation rushing through my eardrums. "Hit me," I growl. This was how I would determine if was dreaming or not; be ready to take the next step into things and make my own decisions. _Sort of. _

How was I supposed to turn down the girl I was in love with after she begs me to make love to her? No, what she was asking of me was more than that.

"What?" she questions.

I repeat myself, louder this time to make sure she gets the message. And with an abrupt movement, she flips her hand toward my face. A loud smack covers the room and I feel a stinging sensation building up to the surface of my pained cheek. It was like she didn't put in any thought to it; she was rough, I liked that.

I've come to the conclusion that I've lost a hold on my sanity – I was being driven mad and I didn't entirely hate it.

What was becoming of me?

Lunging myself forward, I clench my fist around her throat to bring her closer to me. At first, she lets out a groan in pain, but I watch as her lips curl up in a hungry grin – she wants more. I don't have to think to any further extent. My body is taking control of my brain, and my actions com to me so simply. Something I haven't felt in over a year, and I'm more than ecstatic to forget about the real world.

I throw her back down onto the bed with my hand still securely grasped around her neck, and instruct her to remove the shirt clinging to my back which was now drenched in my own sweat. The room was steaming hot, like someone had forgotten to turn on the air conditioning. She listens though, stripping me of both my shirt and my jeans to throw them to the side. Once she does this, I let up on my grip and lean down to press my lips to her jawbone. She's stiff beneath me, aching in anticipation for me to make my move.

"Your little outfit is sexy…" I whisper against her ear, grazing my sharp teeth along her lobe. "But it just doesn't do you justice." After saying this, I snake my arms around her back to tear open the zipper on her lingerie. "And I may just need to punish you for the things you've done." I laugh at myself, ripping the entire outfit from her body to leave her completely naked under me.

A smirk tugs at my lips; my mind has gone utterly blank now – I'm not afraid at all for what was to come. Fuck other people's feelings. "What on earth made you think you were going to be the one to take advantage? That's _my_ job."

Clare runs her fingertips down my bare chest, leaving me quivering above the small girl. "I know I've been bad," she speaks to me with such seduction that it makes my body prickle in eagerness. "What are you going to do to me? Spank me to teach me a lesson?"

She smiles up at me at the same time as I do; I toss the mocking piece of fabric to the floor along with my newly shed boxers.

"You can bet on it. I'm going to beat the shit out of you."

I grip her curls between my fingers and jerk her toward my chest so we're sitting upright on the bed once again. She hisses in pain as I do this, and I watch her upset face in amusement; she doesn't mind it. I'm gaining pleasure out of this.

After contemplating for numerous extensive minutes, I've finally come to the conclusion that this has to be just a dream; Clare wouldn't act this way in a million ages, unless she'd completely lost her mind. I was going to have fun with it, and not worry about a damn thing. What-the fuck-ever, it shouldn't matter since I was only dreaming, yes?

'_Take the dream seriously, act like it's reality.' _I heard that somewhere – there was something smart about that. If you dislike the way your life is going, switch pathways and act as if what you're dreaming about is real. All of this is existent since I never sleep… I don't have dreams anymore. I like that, something is finally going my way. I couldn't wait to go home from here to tweet this; _"Just rode out Clare Edwards like she was a rabid horse hopped up on acid." _

"Your skin is so soft," Clare marvels quietly; her head is tilted back against her will to give me the opportunity to sink my teeth into her flesh. This was some kind of fucked up fantasy for her, since she's always been into vampire novels and movies.

At this point, I'm tired of fucking around and I want to do this already. I didn't waste half of my life waiting for this very moment to take my sweet time with it. I know for a fact that Clare has done this more than a handful of times, so it's not like I wouldn't have to hold back on my part – hopefully that didn't make me sound too selfish.

With hasty movements, I thrust my hips up into Clare's to let her gasp in surprise. "You certainly don't waste much time, do you?" I feel her tighten around me, and the only thing I can do now is throw her back down onto the mattress to dig myself in deeper. The room is still dark, but there's enough light shining in through the window from the street lights. I can see the developed shadow of our intertwined bodies against the far wall.

_If only all of my other sleepless nights were spent this way, then I would never want to fall asleep._

Something tingles up spine; rejoice, pleasure, more and more being shot through my body with each thrust. I've forgotten what this felt like, I've completely forgotten how these actions sent vibrations of pleasure and adrenalin through my veins.

_Empowerment. _

Finally another emotion that I could express without growing bored with myself. Is this what heaven was like? For a moment, I believe I had died and gone to the most promising afterlife – maybe it was just the lack of sleep talking, but I feel happy. Another emotion.

I'm being overwhelmed with different feels tonight, how was my body taking this sudden change so easily? Or maybe it was still too numb to take notice in these changes.

Dammit, I forgot to do the laundry! CeCe is going to gut me like a pig and hang me upside down from my big toes. She is going to be so pissed off at my irresponsible ass.

Clare's arms are pinned down at her sides now, and her head is dangling slightly over the edge of the bed; I can't see her face clearly. My fingernails dig themselves into the moist skin of the younger girl and I listen to her chant a mumble of exclamations.

_I'm the Energizer Bunny, I keep going and going. _

I feel my aching tip violently crashing into her core, and I can't help but to groan out in pleasure. She tightens around me, slowly clenching more and more, only to make this more enjoyable for the both of us.

There's something about a woman's body that I adore; I find it interesting how certain genders are attracted to others. It makes me wonder if everyone is specifically handed your orientation, or if you quickly grow into it. Sort of like how we're all female first, and some of us slowly turn into the male we're supposed to be. Did that mean everyone was simply straight, or gay as a child? Was it our lifestyle that decided this? There are so many questions that have been left unanswered, just like sex. If you're not supposed to be doing it all of the time, then why does it feel so good? Perhaps it was because God tempts you with sin… or maybe it was the devil, or is there just no God and devil out there and everything is a mystery?

Speculations.

Picking up the pace, I concentrate mostly on the sound of the springy mattress beneath us – for some reason, this always builds my ego. Clare won't shut her fucking mouth long enough for me to listen to the repeated _creak _of my confidence building. Fuck it.

I let up on Clare's wrist and help pull her back up, only to land myself on my back so she's hovering above me. We don't miss a single beat.

I'm unsure how long this has been going on for, but I try not to let my mind wander anymore, since I've been waiting entirely too long for this moment.

Clare bounces her body on my abdomen forcefully; she's being so rough with me that it feels like my dick is going to snap in half. It's not that I really minded it that much at all, though; it's hard to find a girl this hostile. She rides herself on my length, reaching her hands up to fondle her own breasts as her breathing grows more unsteady.

My fingers find themselves gripping into her thighs; I'm meeting with her thrusts now and my body is quivering. "Jesus Christ," I groan between clenched teeth. Where the hell did this little pure Christian girl learn all of this? 'What Would Jesus Do?' obviously it was more like 'What Wouldn't Jesus Do?'

The room is spinning around us.

My fingers slowly glide up her thighs at the same time as she throws her unsteady hands over my chest. "Oh God," she moans with her head tilted back. "I… I – mmm." Before she can finish her sentence, she bursts out in a series of uncontrollable cries. Her beautiful sounds make me almost lose it, but I continue to hold on longer for her. Since when did I care about the girl in this scenario? Clare must've meant more to me than I had thought, to make me give in so easily.

I let my mouth gape open, moaning along with her to make it a challenge now. She still comes out on top (literally) with a louder shriek each time, so at least I can say I have some manhood left within me.

Both of our muscles tighten in unison before she collapses over me. The two of us are left panting and sweaty over each other, but neither of us seem to care.

I want to speak, but there's nothing I can say without making myself look like a total dumbass. I didn't even know I got here in the first place, for Christ sakes.

One she regains her breathing again, she rolls herself over onto the bed beside me. She's glowing. Even after sweating out buckets for the last hour or so, she was absolutely stunning. Something about her… I didn't know what it was, but I drown in her presence. "You were, uh… good," she speaks awkwardly. But why did things need to be awkward? I didn't want that at all.

I turn over on my side to face her, she shivers. "Tonight was the best night of my life because it was spent with you." I smile softly at her tired and emotionless face before pressing my lips to her clammy forehead. I chuckle to myself, receiving a confused stare from her.

"What is it?"

By the tone in her voice, it sounds like she thinks I'm disappointed in the incredible time she just gave me, which wasn't the case. "Where did you get that ridiculous lingerie?"

She giggles and hides her face into the crook of my neck. "A store in the mall."

xxx

My eyes open slowly to find myself in familiar surroundings; my bedroom. I sit up in bed, drenched in my own sweat when I notice my bulky hand was stuffed down into my Teletubbies boxers. "What the fuck?" my hand slides out from the elastic tiredly, exposing a sticky build-up that goo-ed around and between my fingers. "…shit." It must have all been a dream like I originally suspected. Damn! All that time I was convincing myself it was existent, to be let down again – wait a minute. The bright morning sun peaks through my window; did I sleep through the night? Even though I feel much worse than I did before I went to bed, maybe those pills actually took some kind of effect for the first time.

xxx

I kick a stone off the sidewalk, my head is down and I can hear footsteps behind me; of course I ignore it and think nothing of it – but could this be something dangerous for me?

Fucking paranoia everywhere.

I can't stop thinking about that dream last night… it felt so real that I couldn't even process the fact that it wasn't. What was wrong with me? I'm sick, repulsive, subpar, humiliated. If Clare ever found out about this, I would be so fucking dead that it wasn't even funny. I saunter down the side of the road with my thoughts trailing on and on. I suspected it to be extremely awkward trying to work on a class assignment today with Clare. Why was I even going to school? I was feeling uncomfortably numb to where I could hardly walk straight – Degrassi would probably drain me down even more.

Continuing to drag my heavy feet across the concrete, I stop in my tracks when something flutters down to my shoes. I stare at it for a few moments before coming back to reality – I could have been standing still for several minutes, being a zombie and all, I have no control over what my brain is doing.

It's some sort of a green creature; a butterfly, perhaps. The dull green colour burns my crusty eyes the longer I stare at it. As if it was possible, I don't think I've been so goddamn tired in my life. The strange pattern on the winged fellow interests me. Small circles within another circle on each wing; they're a darker emerald colour, with white surrounding the dots. They almost remind me of sleepless eyeballs; eyeballs which have been peeled open for far too long, such as myself.

I raise the tip of my shoe to let it hover over the pathetic butterfly. It's like myself – tired, just waiting for someone to take it out of its misery so it didn't have to bother with taking its own life. The underside of my black converse flat shoes shoots down over the fluttering insect. Its body crunches beneath me and I realize it's a type of moth by the looks of the tiny hairs, rather than scales.

_Actias luna._

Oh. Fuck.

I move my shoe back and glare down at the twitching carcass.

"Are you fucking me right now?" a familiar voice screams from behind me; I automatically know who it is. Adam. "No!" he falls down to his knees to pick up the unique, destroyed moth. "I looked everywhere for these!" he cranes his neck to look up at me. "Did you do this?"

I sigh melodramatically, my glance dropping back to where Adam's clutching the dead moth to his chest. "It was like that when I found it, dude." It's always lies, lies, and more lies with me. I never give it a rest, which could be part of my problem. "Get up, man, you're embarrassing yourself."

He sniffs and shoves it into his pocket before arising back to his feet. "It might still be useful."

I roll my eyes at him to continue my journey to the shittiest of schools; I wonder what's going to go down in that hellhole. Adam follows behind me like a lost puppy who just wants to be loved; why can't I shake this loser from my tail? "Can I help you with something?" I asked him almost annoyed.

"Just wanted to talk to you about that Clare girl." He catches up to my side.

My heart drops in my chest – Clare. Even just the mention of her sweet name gives me a tingly sensation that vibrates through my entire body. "What about her?" I try to play it off, like nothing was going through my empty brain, so maybe it shouldn't be so hard to fake after all.

"Dude, I totally fucked Clare Edwards last night!"

"What?" I laugh pathetically – that's not possible.

_That's not possible._

He nudges my shoulder with his. "I was passing by her house around midnight and she invited me in for hot chocolate."

"Hot chocolate in the middle of May?"

"Shh! Let me talk!" he hisses harshly between his teeth. "So I accepted the offer and chugged down my delicious hot chocolate like a mother fucker. So then…" he giggles like a school girl. "She dragged me up to her room and took off her robe; she was wearing lingerie, man! I gave that girl a good 'ole spanking."

I swallow the sudden lump in my throat. That sounded almost exactly like my dream from last night; what the hell was going on? I humour him, listening to him yelp out how good she was in bed and everything she did to him while we were getting questionable glares from people on the streets around us.

"I figured I should tell my friend this! I'm so excited!"

I clench my teeth together, tightening my jaw, and gripping the straps on my backpack. "I don't do the whole friendship thing," is all I can say without making myself sound like too much of a total dick. "You're barely an acquaintance." I try to calm myself down, but I can't get my attitude under control. "I'm gonna be late for class." And with that, I leave him standing alone on the sidewalk.

This is what happens when I let people in; it fucks everything up!

Screw it, I didn't need anyone. Clare ad Adam can jerk each other off into the sunset while I jerk myself off into a coma from sleeplessness. I didn't need friends, I didn't need anyone. Fuck the human race, all I need in my pathetic life is myself and my sleeping pills. At least those bastards can't find a way to jerk with my emotions. Adam knew that I had feelings for Clare, and he could care less if he hurt me in his little process.

Fucking raging teenage hormones.

**Yayyyy that's the end of that chapter. I really want to know if anyone has figured out what's going on yet! I was too lazy to proofread this again, and I'm a little tired to anyway, so forgive me for my lame excuses. =P**


	4. chasing shadows

**Writer's block can kiss my… foot! It took so long to write this horrible piece of shit. Lol it honestly didn't turn out as bad as I thought it would, which is surprising. Some special appearances in this chapter, as Eli's obnoxious family. :) You may or may not love one of them to death. **

After avoiding Clare for the last few days, my anxiety level has been at an all-time high. I haven't been having any successful sleep (which isn't anything new) and I could have sworn Regis Philbin was standing a few feet away from me in my own living room. Half of the family on Bullfrog's side was supposed to be coming over for a cookout, and I honestly didn't feel like putting up with my hostile and imprudent cousins all afternoon. Let alone have everyone in the family bitch about me wearing gloomy clothing in the summertime, as they constantly appear to do.

They could all fuck themselves; I was over and done with trying to respect anyone who wasn't myself. If that made me egocentric, then so be it. I couldn't take all of this shit anymore.

CeCe yells to me from the kitchen, jolting me conscious from a moderate slumber – I hadn't even realized I'd fallen under so quickly; damn Narcolepsy. "Eli, did you hear me?" she calls out as I rise to my feet from the ridiculously comfortable leather settee. "Get the door!"

"Heard you loud and clear, CeCe!" I answer back. "Even though you woke me up!"

"You'll get over it."

I saunter over to the front door, despondently dragging my meager limbs over to open up the entry. "I haven't slept in fucking months!" this was directed toward CeCe, but my jerkoff cousin has to jump into my business as he always does.

"Hello to you, too," Zig chimes from the front porch. He's attending Degrassi as well, just starting out as a freshman. He's practically as much of a boastful smartass as I am, the little bastard. I assume I didn't mind him too much, being as we both irritated the hell out of the family during our wit battles.

I smile sarcastically at the little dickhead. "Nice to see you again, Dingus."

My aunt and uncle trot in through the doorway carrying a couple assortments of food on silver platters. Zig's parents are rich as fuck, and spent every second of their lives trying to rub it in to everyone else lower than them. Just a bunch of filthy rich snobs, in my opinion.

"Glad to see you finally rolled out of bed, vampire," Zig says haughtily.

"Right after fucking a girl all night long," is my comeback. "Surprised to see you empty-handed; leave your pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, leprechaun?"

"Zombie."

"Dwarf."

"Choco Beast!"

I lower my face down to his so our eyes are level with each other, just to blow his dark bangs from out of his face. "Justin Bieber," I taunt.

"Little Miss Fucking Sunshine!"

"Boys!" Bullfrog croaks from behind me; I turn around to face him. "Can you two go two simple days without disagreeing? Please… give the adults a break."

Two days? Wait, what? If these assholes are staying over for the night, I swear to fucking God I'm going to make each and every one of these people's lives a living hell – not to mention disowning my parents. So if I didn't get to sleep, none of them did either. I ask for one goddamn weekend to attempt getting my sleep schedule back together, and my parents pull this shit out on me? I wasn't going to have that.

Zig clears his throat to make his way into the house. "I consider myself an adult now, Uncle Goldsworthy."

"You?" I cackle. "You're a fucking midget who hasn't even dropped his balls yet, you're no adult."

"My balls have dropped."

I grin mockingly at the child. "You better pick them up then, Shirley Temple. The lives of your future offspring are at risk, here."

There's a moment of brief silence before Zig slams the door shut and trudges into the kitchen. I win again. He should know he has no chance when it comes to _The Master. _I don't even know why he tries to go up against me anymore when he's never won a battle in his entire existence. I'm just way too good for him, for anyone.

I glance up at Bullfrog to see him pinching the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and broad thumb. "This is going to be a long weekend," he gabbles under his breath to himself.

Unresponsive, I drag my heavy body back over to the couch to where I can hopefully get in a quick nap before more brats decided to give me a hard time. For some odd reason, all of my cousins wanted to try to humiliate me – I didn't blame them, though; I wasn't exactly normal.

There's a sequence of bangs and smashes coming from the kitchen, but I choose to pay no attention to it and keep my eyes closed. The worst thing going on in there could contain everyone getting massacred with steak knives… but I can't get my hopes up over nothing. I was a very fuming human being half of the time; nonetheless, I didn't think anything of it.

The main door slams open, followed by a light female giggle – what the fuck now? You evidently can't get any rest in this goddamn house. I was about ready to go over and make an apology to Adam for what I said to him just so I can sleep on his couch to get away from the whole kit and caboodle.

With a thick sigh, I turn myself over to see who was disrupting my snooze. Certainly it must be my wretched junkie cousin and his slutty lover. And, I was right once again! That's two for Eli Goldsworthy, and the crowd goes wild. Yeah, now I know I unquestionably need some rest.

I gaze over Fitz and his new girlfriend who are caressing each other's bodies, their lips never parting as they smash back against the wall. I swear Fitz has a new girlfriend each and every time I see him; I would hate to get anywhere near whatever he was packing. The tiny girl is pressed back against the wall with Fitz blocking most of her figure, so it's hard for me to tell what she looks like. I catch a quick glimpse of brown hair and dark framed glasses, but I still can't recognize the girl. Hopefully this one wasn't as much of a bitch as his last one was. Bianca DeSousa was like the devil in a scorching body; she undeniably despised me, but the feeling was downright mutual.

My stomach grows queasy as Fitz's hand begins to slide up the underside of the stranger's dress, her letting out a quiet moan. I stand up from the couch once again and clear my throat to let the two of them break apart from each other. What made Fitz think he could bring some sleaze into my home and feel her up right in front of my disgusted eyes? Either he just finished smoking a fatty before coming inside, or he doesn't think at all anymore. It was hard to determine since he didn't have a brain to begin with.

Fitz leisurely turns himself to face me, linking his arm around the petite girl's waist who licks her lips, embarrassed. "Didn't see you there, Eli," Fitz snickers. "Have you met my girl? This is Imogen." My eyes lock on the beauty, finding myself gawking at the bulky breasts which peek out over the top of her skintight dress. She didn't seem as slutty as the other girls Fitz has been with, but I was one to wait before I judged... well, that only applied if it was a pretty lady.

She takes notice in my admiration of her body and looks down at her feet shyly. "She's gorgeous," I compliment, smirking to myself. "She'll, without any doubt, fit in with this family pleasantly." I'd give my left nut just to see what she was hiding under that tight dress of hers.

Fitz shoots glares my way, comprehending the fact that I'm basically having sex with his girlfriend in my mind right now. He must not be as stupid as I'd always thought. Only to make him even more pissed off at me, I reach out to grasp Imogen's hand gracefully. She's smiling at me, the glimmer in her eyes gleaming so effortlessly. If only I had the courage to be just as charming whenever I saw Clare, but her and Adam have no idea how much they hurt me, so maybe it was time for me to move on get close to another girl. It's not like her and Fitz are going to last longer than a few weeks anyway, so I might as well make a good impression now. "Imogen, it's quite the _pleasure _to meet a girl as beautiful as yourself." I tuck my head down and raise her delicate hand up to my lips, pressing the back of her soft dorsum to my mouth smoothly. Our eyes never lose glances, and she blushes several shades of red as I do this.

"I'm going to go eat something," Fitz huffs before shoving past me, which almost knocks me off balance.

After a moment, I plop back down on the couch and pat the cushion next to me for Imogen to sit. "I'm Eli, by the way."

"I'm aware." She sits alongside me and brushes a loose strand of hair out of her face.

"I thought your name was Imogen."

"Funny," she giggles attractively, which causes me to ogle at her yet again. Everything about this woman is so stunning that she almost makes me want to forget about Clare altogether and go on a random hookup binge. I honestly wouldn't hate getting with every girl who seems interested in me; maybe that could help me sleep better. And perhaps I could find the perfect girl while on this sex-spree; Imogen would be my first experiment.

I reach over to caress Imogen's warm cheek just as Zig comes walking back out, flying a comb through his tangled hair. "Am I gorgeous, or am I gorgeous?" he praises while he stares at his own reflection in the TV.

"Is there a third opinion?" I joke, making Imogen laugh along with me. I felt a little bad messing with my cousins at times, but then there were other times like these, when there was a girl sitting beside me, where I couldn't give two shits about how my words affected Zig's emotions.

"Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful!" he belts out into song, clearly my words making no difference in his actions.

xxx

I sit up in my bed, breathing heavily as a sudden panic attack finally passes. I'm fucking sick of having these feelings of hopelessness when my body doesn't want to rest. It can't be healthy to go so long without sleep; how much longer will this go on for? I tried the pills again tonight and they didn't do anything at all; I even took a couple extra than suggested, which made me start vomiting blood since my stomach couldn't handle it – it didn't even make me the tiniest bit sleepy.

The entire house was asleep already which made me the only sleepless moron on the street, but I can't stand sitting in this same ridiculous bedroom for the rest of the night, praying – to whatever force was out there – that the Sandman would pay me a visit tonight. Fitz and Zig were asleep on my bedroom floor beside the bed, so I needed to be quiet if I didn't want to wake them up. Normally I would love purposely stirring them, but I couldn't get that satisfaction tonight, not with the way I've been feeling.

Maybe I could get something to eat down in the kitchen, or go for a useless walk down the dark night road. Not that it wouldn't make any difference if I was eating or lying awake all night – I would still be embarrassing myself either way. I just couldn't take this agony any fucking longer.

Slowly, I make my way down the hallway, trying my best to be quiet as possible. My parents' room was just across from mind, and the two guest rooms were beside that one. Noise travels loudly down these halls, so one slight move and I would wake the whole house up. It couldn't be that much of a bad thing, though; maybe then my parents would finally realize there's something wrong with me and try to help me out – something like electric shock therapy.

A heavy and feminine breath comes from the guest room beside me, and I stop in my tracks to press my ear up the door. _Moans._

Moans are coming from the room Fitz's girlfriend was staying in, yet he's still asleep on the floor of my bedroom so he can't be in there with her.

My jagged teeth tug at my cracked lips, slowly and quietly turning the doorknob to peak in. What the hell was I doing? When did I become such a fucking creep? I barely knew this girl by the name of Imogen, yet the sound of her pleasurable gasps makes my member twitch uncomfortably.

She sounded irresistible.

I peak into the crack of the door, catching a quick glimpse of a pair of pajama pants and pink laced panties at the end of the bed. "Oh my…" I whisper to myself, shifting my torso to look in further.

A glowing shimmer from the desk lamp shoots down on Imogen's quivering body. She appears to be lying flat down on her back, the heavy blanket beneath her stiff muscles as she whimpers over again. Her feet are planted flat on the mattress, her knees pointing up toward the ceiling. I let my eyes wonder down further.

_Elijah Goldsworthy, you goddamn pervert. _

This girl made me squirm; she made me want to throw her down to the bed and have my way with her. I haven't had any type of sexual desire until just recently when I've been having unexplained dreams about Clare, but I never would have known it would lead to something like this. I was just asking to get slapped… with the hand that she's using to touch herself; that wouldn't be half bad.

Her fingers are leisurely teasing herself, dipping in and out of her desired lower region; her breath catches in her throat and she lets out the loudest moan yet! I can't take it anymore.

Awkwardly and quietly, I mosey on into the bedroom. She doesn't notice my arrival until I click the door shut. Her whole body jumps, her hands racing around to find something to cover herself with. Did she not know that there was a lock on this door? For my sake, I'm so fucking glad she didn't discover that. "What the fuck?" she hisses.

"I like watching," I smirk, receiving nothing but an embarrassed scowl. "I think I can help you with your little problem," I murmur, running my fingertips over the wooden base of the bed.

"How did you get in here?" she growls at me, stuffing her legs down beneath the covers.

"The door was open." Imogen doesn't speak, so I sit down beside her. "I can help you, you know."

"No thanks!" she spats verminously.

I cock my head to the side, bringing my hand up to gently capture a droplet of sweat dripping from her soft forehead. "What do you think about when you do that?" I lick my lips, inching closer. "Do you think about Fitz?" Imogen coughs dryly, avoiding my question. "You're a virgin." It wasn't a question.

"No I'm not."

I smile down at her through the dim light. "Virgins are so hot… sexy," I purr, my face getting closer to hers. "They're so innocent and pure." Or so I thought. "I bet you get nervous at the thought of sex. You're scared right now, aren't you?"

"Why would I be scared of some asshole that walks in on me? That would be crazy!"

I almost chuckle at her use of sarcasm. But I'm too excited to respond; instead I reach down to begin pulling away the blanket. "Get out," she breathes. The tone in her bothered voice doesn't sound too convincing. I don't plan on doing anything if she doesn't want me to go so far – I'm not a guy who does that. All I can think about is her sweet juices spilling over my tongue, the warmth filling my mouth. "Get _out_," Imogen repeats, her voice fading with the second word.

Leaning in slowly, I capture her soft, inviting lips with my own. She doesn't seem to object, but I pull back almost immediately anyway. I'm not going to pressure her if she doesn't want me touching her. "I'm a virgin too." Something I would never want to admit to anyone. "Just tell me 'no' when you want me to stop…"

And my warm thumb rolls over her bottom lip, my eyes never leaving hers. She's breathing heavily, nervously, but I don't stop. I can't stop. Her beauty is so strong that it could stop traffic – Imogen looks as though she could be the most perfect angel that was sent from heaven above. Thank you, Jesus.

But she wasn't Clare.

"I don't know you…" she trails off.

I lick my lips again, tilting my head in again to press them against hers. She shudders, tracing her fingers down my arm, sending a chill up my spine. She wants to kiss back now, but with quick movements, I yank my face away from hers.

"If you think Fitz is 'the one', you're so wrong. He only wants you for sex, and then he'll throw you away and move on to some other girl. That's how my cousin thinks, and he'll never change."

She pauses before speaking again. "I don't believe you."

"I think you do." I grasp the top of the blanket between my loose fingers again. "That's why you haven't fucked him yet… you're scared he'll hurt you."

Imogen bites her lip and stares at me with tired eyes. What was making me act this way? I couldn't blame the whole no-sleep thing this time, since all of my actions tonight were coming from my own mind. But it was nice to know I wasn't the only night owl in this house.

She lets up on the heavy comforter, letting me pull it back to reveal her smooth legs. "I'm not going to have sex with you," Imogen blurts out hurriedly.

"You think that's what I want?" I grin. However, I don't take her remark as an insult. "I don't need to _explore _inside you to get what I _desire_."

Imogen gulps and spreads her legs, closing her eyes shyly. At first, I almost couldn't believe she was letting me do this. Then I remember what affect I had on women, strange enough. I wouldn't even consider that being me since I was out of my right mind more than a majority of the time.

I smirk at the young girl, dipping my face down so her opening is eyelevel. I softly press my lips against her sensitive clit, feeling her thighs shake beside either side of my head. "You're perfect," I whisper against her skin before nuzzling my mouth down on her.

**Don't hit me! It's still an EClare fic, obviously, but I needed my Imogeli for a bit. Clare shall be back next chapter. ^_^**


End file.
